Here are a few simple things you can do:
• Leave your assumptions at the door: As we’ve seen, children respond to DV in a variety of ways – some are aggressive, some are withdrawn, and some may not show any effects at all – so don’t have any expectations about how the children will behave. Don’t get impatient or frustrated when things don’t go the way you expect them to.
• Ask the child what feels comfortable or uncomfortable: To begin healing, children need a safe place with an adult they can trust. Try to modulate your voice or body language to suit the child – specifically, be wary about how loud you are or how much physical contact you have.
• Let them take their time opening up to you: Trust is a major factor when working with children exposed to domestic violence. Many children don’t want to talk about their experiences; let them be until they’re ready.
• Listen to them with respect: When they do start talking, let them know that someone cares, and that you are interested in their stories, ideas, and opinions. Listen to what they have to say with a neutral ear and open heart – don’t make judgments about the child or his or her parents.
• Use books, games, art, etc. to get them to open up: Children may need other ways to express their feelings when they are unable to process their experiences verbally. Using other forms of media can also be therapeutic. Here are some drawings done by children who have stayed in Maitri’s transitional home...
This is by a 4-year old resident of the home, who drew this flower to decorate her new room:
This one was drawn by a 9-year old resident, who's being greeted by the transition home coordinator upon her arrival at the home with her suitcase:
A 10-year old resident drew this picture of herself going out with her volunteer mentor:
This self-affirming drawing is by a 8-year old at her first Art Therapy session:
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